Monday 21st August
Just as I had written my journal yesterday I felt the energy to do yoga – so I did get a little done. Later in the afternoon my son and I went for a walk that was a little longer than usual.
I had Bonebroth with veggies and chicken all day. In the afternoon I added 2 cups of carrots and it actually helped my energy a bit – I think that it has been good for me to go very low carb for a while, but that I need a little more carbs now and I don’t seem to be reacting to whole foods based carbs anymore, so I will have a little every day. I will keep eating soups with GAPS approved veggies and meat for a while, and then see if I can add some egg yolk to it in a week or so. I will drink Kraut juice every morning, and add ACV to my water.
I will be away all day and need to pack a lunch, and get to the vet with a little abandoned puppy that was left more or less on my doorstep yesterday. So I will fly!
Tuesday 22nd August
Yesterday I did absolutely no training – the new puppy took up quite a bit of time: I took him to the vet and they washed him, and got rid of fleas and ticks (not deer ticks, but goat ticks), gave him a de-wormer, all for free! They thought I was a hero for taking in the dog – but how could I not? He is adorable! The vet told me that he is a cross between a bodeguerro (bit like a Jack Russel) and something else. I absolutely love that vet – they are so sweet.
Afterwards we went to see my friend who lives further inland – we were meant to go up to the dam nearby, but since I got there so late it was 4:30 by the time we had finished lunch and the kids were hanging out in the pool, we decided to postpone to another day. I was home by 9 – so I quickly fixed the kids a little food before I went to bed.
My daughter woke me up around 3:30 with growing pain. I can’t help but think that she had gluten yesterday and that might be why – she used to have them all the time, and now hardly ever.
I couldn’t fall asleep again, so at 4:30 I got up and sat in the living room and read some articles about carb-cycling. I had been feeling sluggish for a while and added a little carbs back in the last few days. I feel a lot less sluggish, and my eczema is still improving. I have only eaten a litte carrots and some butternut squash – so only high quality carbs. Not really sure weather I should carb-cyckle or just keep eating 1-2 cups of these a day… but I will try to go with the flow and see where it leads me. Since this GAPS thing really feels good and my eczema continues to improve I will follow that path, at least for a while ((but good god I miss coffee and chocolate).
Around 6 I did some yoga flow for core and hips, after that about 10 min meditation and then 15 min of Wim Hoff breathing – that is really invigorating. Today I am going to pick up a box of organic meat I have ordered, and take my car to the garage, since the servo is gone, and the battery is low again (3rd time in 2 years we have to replace batteries… think there is something wrong with the car).
I will sprint today and walk, but for now I have a sleeping puppy on my lap and cannot do anything.
Wednesday 23rd August
Yesterday I managed to get a walk and a sprint in with my son, who is now very very much faster than I am – a few months ago he had asthma and was just as slow up the mountain as me. It pleases me immensely. He says that he likes running – but the asthma has kept him back because he just gets SO scared when it sets in. Yesterday he managed to run in all 4 sprints and ended up running the last 2 in circles under the oak trees on top, because he didn’t want to run the down hill part to the well.
I actually timed my walk to the well yesterday – and even if my son says that I was really slow I noticed that it no longer takes me 10 minutes to walk up there – so I will have to make my walk longer if I am to continue to walk 20 min every day (and I would actually like to walk 30 mins, so that I don’t have a “should” of 2 hours extra hanging over me every week). I will try to time it today too. I also think that I will go swimming with the kids today.
I also installed an automatic watering system for the chickens, so that they can’t soil their water and I don’t have to give them fresh water all the time. Today I will move the compost bin in there, so that I can empty the compost there – the run is pretty much rat safe, so it would make a huge difference around here (until the pup grows up to chase them I am putting poison out). Eventually I want the black soldier fly larva bin in there too – so that I can clean the coop into that, and the chickens can eat the grubs when they crawl out, instead of the wasps as it is now. I can’t wait to get our own eggs!
This morning I did that same yoga sequence as yesterday and I can feel my strength balance and flexibility improve every day. I can feel my carpal-tunnel syndrome (which improved dramatically after I stopped eating gluten) improving – it has almost disappeared. Afterwards I did 15 min of Wim Hoff breathing – I certainly cannot hold my breath for 3 minutes yet – but I feel so energized afterwards! And then 5 minutes listening to delta-waves (I need to find out which waves are good for what and when).
Food-wise I continued to have bone-broth with meat and veggies, except I had one piece of grilled pork – which had pepper on them, and a mouthful of cashews with dates. My eczema is still getting better, but I have those little blisters with pus inside popping up… very very small, but they are still there. My biggest problem with this is that I cannot find a Doctor down here to treat this, one will just prescribe cortisone creams and the other will put me on an alkaline diet… so I just keep searching. I will order some extra virgin cod liver oil online, and some pro-biotics (any recommendations are very welcome) and hope that my Thorne K2/D3 will come soon. I am currently drinking one shot of kraut juice every morning, but not eating the kraut.
Thursday 24th August
Yeah – I was very much neither AIP or GAPS or Wahls or anything in that direction yesterday… I was pretty primal though 🙂 I had coffee and dark chocolate with raspberries and strawberries and I enjoyed every bit of it. I’ve had coffee this morning too. And I will continue to have coffee and dark chocolate when-ever I feel a deep need for it… Or something. And I will also continue to fast once in a while, and to take some GAPS days once in a while, and let most of my meals be primarily Wahl’s inspired, and not beat myself up over a little chocolate once in a while, because life is just too short for that. If dark chocolate and a bullet proof coffee is my version of a “cheat day” then I have come a long way from doughnuts and coke at the gas station when ever I was there without the kids (reality 2 years ago).
I did not walk yesterday, but did go to the river to swim – and I swam a few laps in the pool there (there is a natural pool in the river, full of fish of all sizes). Today we have a birthday party, so I will probably not get any walking in either, but I will bring my swim suit and play with the kids in the pool.
Saturday 26th August
Tuesday 29th August
So the weekend was not good… I wasn’t straying from a primal diet more than twice (a little potato chips and a little pasta), but I was WAY off the AIP and sunday morning I was tired and had blisters all over my pinkie… yet I continued down that road, and monday morning I had no skin on half my pinkie. It is oozing, red, itchy and painful. These are the foods outside the AIP that I have eaten: Coffee, Chocolate, Sugar (in the chocolate), Wheat (not until Sunday evening, so not sole culprit), paprika, almonds, tomato (not undtil Sunday night), Cheese (cow, organic, hard), Potatoes (baked and chips), PUFA (in the potato chips), white wine (1 glass). The saddest thing about it is that I might have been 100% symptom free had I not slipped up, because I was almost symptom free last week (my eczema was healed 99%, but the skin was still thin and fragile). I might be able to drink coffee, because I did so from Wednesday and I woke Friday with more inflammation in my eczema (had used a little cream in my coffee Thursday night), but still not those darned blisters that just turns my skin into an oozing mess, but now I won’t know for a while because I have to start over again to heal.
I have been back on track since yesterday, I can already feel that my skin is less itchy, but this will take a few weeks to heal I suspect – and I will have to remain on track while going through my husbands birthday party… THAT won’t be easy. I need to focus on the eczema and the healing and not so much on the weight loss until I am on the other side of this. I know if I stay 100% AIP my eczema will heal – I have been there before, I just need to stay.on.track.
Thursday 31st August
Today I have been following the Autoimmune protocol strictly for 3 days. I woke up at 5 o’clock this morning and spent almost an hour just lying in bed waking up slowly (stretching a bit, meditating a bit). Then I got up and did my yoga workout, 15 min meditation and 15 min Wim Hoff breathing technique.
Yesterday I heard Robb Wolf interview Dr. DiNicolantonio about salt, and almost simultaneously Mark Sissons offer for his new keto book lands in my inbox – both talk about how a keto diet drastically increases your need for salt (Mark writes 2 tsp a day extra on a keto diet). While I have been taking extra salt and extra minerals it has not been anywhere near 2 tsp. I have now bought the book “The Salt Fix” and am reading it. Yesterday I took two “salt shots” of around 1/4 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp kelp, and 2 cl lemon juice – and even though I was tired after lunch, and regained my energy after resting for half and hour.
My eczema is getting better, but I have also used some prednisone cream – I will stop doing that in a few days, but I figured that it was important to heal it, to avoid infections – and then when I am healed a little more I can stop using the cream to make sure that I am not consuming anything that aggravates it. I will be calling two Functional Medicine practitioners today to hear if we can get some testing going to figure out why I am becoming more and more allergic…
Monday 4th September
So I talked to a Functional Medicine practitioner from Madrid yesterday – we talked education and also some about my journey towards better health. He actually ended up giving me about an hours consultation for free and recommending me some tests to get done – a stool test and a hair test (to test for mycotoxins and heavy metals). He suggested the hair test instead of the triple test, because it is cheaper – I am not sure if it would be better to just do the triple test first. I might also want to order a test for fungus in our house… I have a feeling – the other day I was sitting in my husband’s office for 15 min and I felt completely congested after I left… I did the VCSTest.com and scored below “normal” which does indicate that I have something disturbing my vision – and at times it does feel like my vision is worse (even my functionally blind left eye feels more or less blind on certain days) than others and it feels “chemical” – just like my mood-swings… like it is my brain and not my eye that has a problem, and the the problem is inflammation – now that I now how to eat to make it go away, I can certainly see that it isn’t something I jut have to live with…
I have had one piece of chocolate and one potato this weekend – and have had no reaction. The potato was totally by accident: I had made them for the rest of the family, but when I started eating I just put it on my plate and started eating… a few years ago I was wheat, dairy, egg and nut free for 2 years and I had no problems with potatoes. I am guessing that potatoes cross with something and that I can eat them when I am not eating a lot of other stuff that affects me.
The FM practitioner I talked to pretty much agreed with my suspicions – the AIP diet is keeping me free of trigger foods (I am not sure which at the moment), but not healing my gut, nor clearing my system of any toxins I might have been exposed to (he thinks that some kind of toxic load is keeping my gut lining open which is why I keep being more and more sensitive all the time). I know for sure that I have been exposed to myco-toxins, several times in my life, starting at birth – my eczema usually clear up when I live in a house that isn’t infested, so I have a feeling that this house is… I have also recently had an amalgam filling removed that was broken (and had been so for a while), so that is possible too. AND living in Denmark most of my life, most of the fish I have eaten have come from the Baltic sea which is where most of the rivers in Easter Europe and Russia ends (hurraa for communism) – heavily polluted… it is no longer recommended to eat fish coming from there but that was unknown when I was a kid when to pollution levels were at it’s worst… Now I need to find a way to heal. I will be looking at that the next week. Even if I did find him knowledgeable, and not woo-woo I still feel a need to double check everything he says… just a habit after 11 years of checking Doctors before trusting them.
Well anyways – after now almost 7 days of (almost) strict AIP my brain functions normally again, I sleep normally and I have normal energy-levels. I think I can start re-introducing foods in a week, but I will stop the prednisone cream as of today to see if I am still reacting to something. I hope I have learned my lesson from last weekend: It is such a waste of time to be on this extreemly strict diet, just to fuck it up right before I am symptom free – it stalls me finding out what I am actually reacting to (and I don’t think it is everything on the AIP). I also do not want to waste 3 out of 7 days just for a snack… not worth it. I was actually on the way to being way way too tired Sunday already and I knew it the moment I opted for making pasta with tomato sauce – because I was too tired to cook… I shouldn’t have pasta in the house at all (now I don’t have more fortunately) – I am just too cheap to throw out food…
Tuesday 5th September
Today I bought chicory coffee – because that is where I fall in every time. So now I can have a cup of bullet proof chicory coffee (without butter though) if I really really feel like it. I think that will help a lot! I am also not too strict on the low carb currently, AIP is limited enough – and then when I am symptom free I can maybe add some more foods in, which will make low carb a little easier.
Yoga in the morning really feels like a rutine now – I don’t feel right the days I don’t get up and do it. The challenging exercise I found last week hardly feels challenging anymore (yay me!). I would actually like to do a longer sequence now – but that is conditioned upon me waking up earlier in the morning, and that is conditioned on me feeling better – sleep is still more important than exercise.
Thursday 7th September
Tuesday was my husband’s birthday and I cooked him a full English breakfast – only to realize when I was almost done that I coulnd’t eat *any* of the food I had cooked… including the bacon bc. the organic store had stopped carrying it, since I was the only costumer buying it – so I had bought regular bacon at the supermarket. But since we had breakfast at 7:30 I wasn’t hungry anyway so I just had a few strawberries and ate some sweet potato later in the morning.
For lunch I made a big ass salad for all of us, and hubby and the kids had some of the left-over bread from breakfast – they have actually not touched the bread since, that is how used they are to not eating bread by now, that they forget it is there!
In the evening we went out to eat at a Japanese restaurant and had teppanyaki – they were very sweet and made mine with glutenfree soy sauce (yes soy sauce – not allowed) and without butter. It was delicious! I also had spicy salmon sashimi salad for starter and wakame salad and teppanyaki broccoli. Not 100% AIP but pretty close – the soy sauce, the chili on the spicy salmon, and maybe some MSG (my son whispered to me while eating my beef “I think this might contain the third spice – damn it is GOOD!” – but he didn’t have a reaction at all). We didn’t get home until 0:30 – way past my bedtime. I was very tempted to not ask for gluten free soy sauce, and be too polite to not ask them to cook my meat without butter, when everybody else had butter… and to eat the rice, and have a drink etc. But the podcast I had been pointed to helped me quite a lot – feeling grateful that I am able to heal myself and get better. We had invited one of my husbands’ colleagues and his wife out for dinner, as they were in the area – they visited us 3 years ago before they had their baby – and she has become very sick with fibrosis (not cystic – something else), after they had their baby, and has gained 20kg because of her medicine (prednisone) – I talked to her a bit about my diet and how it helped me, but my condition is not at all as serious as hers, I have no idea if it would help her? But I do have a feeling that if I hadn’t found this path 3 years ago, I would have been going down a route that would be far more like hers, than where I am now…
Yesterday I felt really good and completed 2x12min of yoga exercise, made a huge portion of my anti-inflammatory sauerkraut, cleaned the kitchen, made lunch – and then crashed completely. Took a nap, and then proceeded to clean half the house (with the help of my family). And then we hung out on the terrace enjoying the early fall and the fact that we live such a beautiful place.
My husband and I was talking about supplements, and decided that if quality supplements were that expensive we would rather put that money into quality meat (specifically CQ10 and A,D,E,K and O3) – so we searched the web for places that sell beef harts (most butchers don’t carry them) – and I found a place that sell them online for 1.5/piece – free range though not 100% grass feed or organic, but it is the best I can do at the moment. I did find a butcher in Madrid, that delivers to the whole country who has 100% grass fed (the organic are given grains, just organic grains) – and he has packages that he calls “Caveman packages” of 10kg of beef/150 – I think I will send him an e-mail to ask if he could source some offal too, because then I would def. buy from him. My neighbor has given me a baby goat that he keeps in his stable until we have found a butcher who will be willing to come up here and butcher it for me – damned EU laws makes that really really hard…
This morning I woke up a 6:15 – spent 15 min in bed, just waking up (love that about waking before the alarm) and then got up because I really wanted to have time to do a longer yoga series. So I found one that was in the same style as what I have been doing lately – but more challenging and 25 min. Then 15 min meditation and 15 min Wim Hoff breathing. I feel really good.
I had a green keto smoothie for breakfast (cucumber, avocado, kale, parsley, lemon, EVOO, salt, kelp, aloe vera juice), cucumber with liver paté and sauerkraut.
Three things that I am grateful for today:
– I am grateful that I am able to be a stay at home mom and not be stressed with raising kids AND a job AND healing my self – but can focus on my healing, while also having time for my kids.
– I am grateful for the fact that even if I am a stay at home mom, my husband makes enough money for us to be able to source healthy food for us.
– I am grateful to be able to live in such a beautiful place and be able to just go out on the terrace and gaze over the mountains, to have my favorite hiking path right at my back door.
Now I will continue to clean the house – so that we are ready for 20+ people for brunch on Saturday.
Friday 8th September
Yesterday I was feeling really good right up until 8 PM where I completely lost my wind and just could not continue. This is one of those signs that really indicate that I am on the right tracks – when I am eating poorly I get tired at 4-5 o’clock, and I am not rested no matter how many hours I’ve slept. OTOH my eczema is really bad – but only on one finger… considering that I had virtually no skin on all fingers on one hand last year, and eczema on my thighs and behind my knees. I did have a little potatoes yesterday and the day before, plus Wednesday I was cleaning the guest bedroom and my husbands office – and he has had an old box from his parents house standing on the floor and it had mold on the bottom and it was on the floor. We also had a lot of bottles of Aquavit sitting in the guest room, which were in boxes that had been water damaged – and as I removed those they completely fell apart from mold. After I had cleaned the floors and ventilated both rooms I felt a little bit like I had a cold coming on – sort of sore throat and sinus irritation. So this finger thing is probably a reaction to breathing in those spores or eating potatoes.
I woke up pretty early this morning – but couldn’t really get myself out of bed. But in the end I decided to get out because I didn’t want to miss out on my yoga practise. I only did the 12 min video because it was already 7:10 when I got up – but at least I did a little.
Today I am grateful for:
– the fact that what I call “bad” eczema is 10x less than it was a year ago
– the fact that doing yoga can motivate me to get up in the morning
– the fact that I have such a sweet and loving family
Later that day
I didn’t wear gloves or a facial mask as I was cleaning out the mold – I should have… I mean usually I wear gloves for doing dishes – but I didn’t think about it when I was almost done…
But I can feel my eczema clearing – and tomorrow is DH’s birthday party… and he has made all the stuff he loves, and I cannot eat much of it. And I get it – he really misses bread and chorizo etc. And he makes the best bread – one of my friends started crying when she ate his cinnamon rolls at his birthday party last year, because they were like her granma’s (and she’s from Mississippi living very far away from her granma). I need to be strong and hold on to the thought that I am grateful for the fact that I *can* heal by sheer will and stubbornness.
Tuesday 12th September
I discovered a new dish for my husbands birthday – gravad lax salad: Gravad lax (home made by DH), cucumber, avocado and kale chips – mmmm! That was goood! I ate that, and mushrooms with bacon all day – plus olives, kombucha and fruit. Thankfully the guests cleared out the cinnamon rolls – so I didn’t have those to tempt me all Sunday I stayed on the straight and narrow path I have chosen for myself – and felt quite proud of myself. I had no new blisters Sunday morning.
Today (tuesday) I am back at waking up around 6:30, my eczema is healing and my brain feels awake and non-cottony. I am proud of myself for holding ground, and I am thankful that there are people out there who research this kind of thing. One thing is the eczema – but I cannot imagine how my life would be if I had to continue to live with the brain fog and fatigue that I get when I stray from the diet.
I have a few suspicions about what is causing the flare ups – and will not introduce those things first: Almonds, eggs, dairy, sugar, potatoes – those are my primary suspects. Maybe tomatoes, other nuts. Not Coffee, black pepper, peppers. I don’t think I am allergic to seeds, but I might have eaten too many compared to how much fish and other O3 I ate (and they are also relatively high carb).
Again I can note that the more low carb I am, the better my brain works. The past few days I have been eating massive amounts of fatty fish – and it is sooo god for me! I will try to get some small fatty fish as often as possible.
– I am grateful for having discovered this diet, so that I can heal my brain and my skin
– I am grateful for having discovered that I can participate in a party and not have to stuff my face with all the sugar I can possibly find
– I am grateful that I don’t have to think about food 24×7 because I am not constantly hungry anymore